Mixed Feelings

The end is approaching, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Had you asked me just last week, "How do you feel about going home?" I would have responded, "I can't wait! I'm looking forward to EVERYTHING, and I am ready to leave Korea. It's been good, for sure...but I'm tired of being a foreigner, I'm tired of not fitting in, I'm tired of teaching young children, I'm tired of playing Pokemon with my host sisters (24/7), I'm just plain tired..."

Now...my response might be a little different. What changed? As soon as June changed into July, leaving became REAL. Before, leaving felt like a distant dream, a distant reality that might never come true, making me long for home all the more. But now that I truly, truly am leaving, I recognize a mix of feelings rising within me: Excitement, sadness, confusion, anticipation, happiness.

My oldest and youngest host sisters

I am happy, excited and anticipating home, because I have missed my family, friends and familiar surroundings. On July 21st, I get to go home to Germany, and then I get to go home to Austria, and then home to France, and in August, home to America. I have so many places I can call home, and I am excited to see the places and the people connected to them.

I am sad about going home, because I will truly, truly miss my host family and the friends I have made here. My host family has been a huge blessing, and they have helped me throughout some of the struggles of adapting to a new way of life. My friends also, most of them Fulbright ETAs themselves, have helped in sharing the difficulties and joys of teaching in this culture, and I will miss them.
On top of that, I will be giving up some of my independence, I will have people (family) relying on my again (more than my host family does at least), seeking my attention, and I can't simply give the excuse that I don't understand English or German. Moreover, my summer at home will be very short, and so I want to, and my family wants to, spend as much time together as possible...but I can feel in my bones that I will need alone time...and I'm not sure how to balance that with all the people I want to, and should, meet.

Another thing I will miss...sorta: One of the hardest things about living in Korea, has been not really understanding,or speaking the language. But this has also been a great freedom I have come to enjoy. I have been able to be alone with my thoughts, to sit in a the conference room at work, tuning out, day dreaming, pretty much forgetting to listen to my surroundings, because I don't understand Korean anyway. Most of the time I do try to pay attention, after all, I want to learn Korean, and listening is a great way to practice. But I have the freedom to zone out, and nobody cares. I have the freedom to be alone with my thoughts. It will take some effort at first to adapt to understanding everything that goes on around me. At first, it will drain me emotionally, and I am a little nervous about that.

Lastly, I am sad to say goodbye to Korea. It is a beautiful country, and a fascinating culture that is so different from any of my other cultures (French, German, American). The differences have been hard, and there are some differences I don't agree with, but now that I am leaving, the thought of maybe never coming back makes me sad.

With some 2nd graders who came to visit me at my desk

Well, bottom line, I have 14 more days in this country, and I want to make the most of them. And this summer, I want to make the most of my time in Europe- and grad school, the most of grad school. One thing I think God has been teaching me my whole life, through experiences in Korea and beyond is to live in the present, thanking Him for each day wherever we are.

Teaching: Things that Work and Things that Don't

I decided to put together a list that includes some of my key experiences with teaching:

• Games. Lots and lots of games. I teach at Elementary school, which means I teach grades 3-6. The games I use are usually simple like Pass the Ball, Simon Says, 4 Corners, or other traditional ESL games. 

• What works: PPTs with a lot of special effects and funny pictures (the love pokemon, and other anime). If you find one game that is a crowd pleaser, it is ok to play it again, and again, and again... My students love BINGO, always a classic, and they ask to play it repeatedly. 

• What doesn't work: In most of my classes my co-teacher prefers not to translate my English. This means that more involved games, like Mafia, or something like running dictation are hard to explain. I have had some very awkward instances where students have no clue what is going on...but I have also learned from mistakes and now, I always use detailed ppts with pictures for instructions.

• Discipline. Elementary kids are great, because (at least in Korea) they are young enough to still respect you, and are in fact quite awed that a foreigner is even talking to them. This has worked to my advantage in the sense that I have not had to worry about discipline too much.

• What works: Sometimes, when my kids get too excited during a game, or are just not paying attention, I use this attention getter: "Eyes on me!" and they say "Eyes on you!" This is so ingrained in them, and really works. My school implements a reward system, so I will tell them, if I have to say "Eyes on me" three times before the quiet down, they will get points subtracted. This really works to keep them quiet and paying attention.
• Depending on the class, I will give them the silent treatment, which involves me staring them down, not saying a word until they realize I am not happy with them.

• What doesn't work: I have tried, and failed to talk to my kids about why they should be quiet, respect each other, etc. Maybe if my kids were older, I could actually talk to them about concepts such as respect, etc. But  I don't speak enough Korean, they don't speak enough English to really get the point across, and especially my 3rd graders are still so young. It is easier to simply set clear boundaries about class room behavior, and establish the consequences if the rules aren't followed
 

 

• Co-teachers. In Korea, at least for Elementary ETAs, we work with co-teachers. At my school I have a co-teacher for each grade I teach. Each co-teacher has a unique style of teaching, and so your team work will be different. But I have found some things to generally be the same across the board.

• What works: Bigger, complicated games. With my 5th grade co-teacher we did a running dictation where we went outside and let the kids literally run across the entire sport's field. This was great for the kids, and we were able to manage it because there were two teachers, instead of just one. Another thing that works with co-teachers is to split up teaching. What I mean by this, is that I usually let my co-teachers explain grammar points. This is helpful for my students, because they need to understand the grammar in their own language first. 

• What doesn't work: For me, it has not been effective to teach grammar points in English, because my students don't really understand, they just memorize what I say. This might have to do with the young age, and limited English skills of my students. Another thing that hasn't worked with my co-teachers is for them to instruct me in teaching. When I first started teaching I looked forward to learning from my co-teachers, and having some feedback on my own teaching. This hasn't happened, mostly due to my co-teachers' personalities and the work culture in Korea. I have had to learn from observing, and adjust my teaching based on the reactions I get from co-teachers. This has been hard.

March update: Mom's visit, and more

This past month has been a whirlwind. The new semester started, and I have been teaching 6th grade for the past 4 weeks. 2 more weeks with 6th grade, then 6 weeks teaching 5th grade, and 6 weeks teaching 3rd grade and I am finished. Time seems to both fly by and crawl very slowly. I see this especially in the fickleness of the weather. One day I am outside with nothing but a light sweater, and the next day it is so cold I am wearing a hat and scarf! At this point I am both happy and sad that I have only 3 more months.

Gyeongbukgung palace, Seoul

Last week my mom visited from France. I picked her up Friday the 17th, to spend a weekend in Seoul. The very day we met, I got the worst cold I've had in a long time. Monday through Friday we spent in Cheongju, where I was able to show her my workplace and introduce her to my vice-principal and principal. We also spent some time with my host family, and then returned to Seoul for the second weekend. Sunday the 26th I brought her to the airport and said goodbye until July.
Below are pictures from our time together.

It was special to have my mom visit for several reasons:

The palace gardens

• I have cool parents who will spend money on an expensive ticket just to come see me.

Cheongju

• It was an interesting experience to be around someone again, for an extended period of time, who actually understands what I say. 

Seoul, Korea National Museum

• It made me realize that I have a tendency to retreat into my own world around my co-workers or others who only speak Korean. It's both a blessing and a curse. At work, when we have a long meeting and I don't understand a single word, I can escape into my mind, and plan the to-do list for the week, or think about a book I've recently read and would like to write a paper on in grad-school. But at the same time it keeps me from actively engaging with the world around me....

The museum

• I realized that I will definitely have culture shock going back to Germany in the summer...it will be very, very strange to understand everyone around me, and I think it will be almost as tiring as NOT understanding anyone around me.

The museum

• I forgot what it feels like to be around family. After almost 8 months with my host family, I consider them to be the closest thing to family that I have in Korea. However, that doesn't replace the comfortable feeling of familiarity you get with your own family. :)

Saying goodbye at Incheon

Winter English Camp 2017

Two weeks of English camp are over now.
I taught 2nd and 3rd grade, two hours each, for one week, and then 4th and 5th grade, two hours each, for one week.

It has been a really nice experience, because unlike the regular school year, I did not teach from a textbook but was able to come up with my own games and activities. I enjoyed that a lot. I also enjoyed having smaller classes and getting to know my students on a more personal level.

Last day of camp we had a food party where the kids were allowed to make snacks for themselves

Highlights from English Camp:

Duck Duck Goose, very popular with 2nd and 3rd

• Being physically pushed, pulled and urged by a second grader to join in the game of Duck, Duck, Goose. It felt nice to be wanted.
• Receiving a handwritten note thanking my co-teacher and me for our work. 
• Introducing 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th grade to a game my German family plays. (I translated it into English of course).
• Learning the Pitch Perfect cups song with 4th and 5th grade, and seeing the kids practice the song during break time. (meaning they actually enjoyed the activity enough to continue past class hours)



2nd grade boys. They were so sweet...why do they have to grow up? 

• Being told by two 4th graders (지은 and 회진) that I was the reason they signed up for English camp in the first place.

One of the 2nd grade girls wrote a note to my co teacher and me, thanking us for the camp.

The two boys with the scarfs are twins, and my co teacher and I only found out the last day!

2nd grade girls

3rd grade boys

The boy kept sneaking into all the pictures.

Why do this?

As my American family gathers in Virginia to celebrate Thanksgiving, I ask myself, "Why do what I am doing?" Why take a year off, knowing full well I want to continue my studies in grad school? Why spend a year away from your family, missing your favorite family holidays like Thanksgiving, and Christmas? Why spend a year teaching children when I know I do not want to teach children in the future?

Turning for the camera! Beautiful fall leaves...

These questions have answers, though the answers are different than they were when I first applied to Fulbright.

 When I applied to Fulbright, as a burned-out senior in college, I thought this year would be my "year off." A fun way to spend a year in between undergrad and grad school. I was wrong. This year is not a year off, because I am working 40 hours a week, trying to navigate a full time job in a culture and language I don't speak. And yes, I am having fun, but I am also working very, very hard.

Here are some of the many reasons why I choose to spend a year away from friends and family:

• This year is a year that is allowing me to grow from a college student into an adult. (Even though college students are technically adults...they also are not. I'm learning that now.)

• This year is teaching me to respect my own teachers in life more (shout out to my Roanoke College professors), as I realize through experience how difficult it is to be a teacher. 

• This year is preparing me for seminary by providing very practical experiences in trusting God and giving me time to evaluate and grow in my relationship with Him. 

• This year is showing me things that I do and do not want in my future. I know now, that I do not want to teach children for my entire life. But I do want to go into teaching. This year (and living with 3 little Korean girls) is also showing me that I want children of my own....one day, definitely not yet. 

We are in the shadows, but I am sitting with two of
 my host sisters underneath the tree.

• This year is teaching me to be patient and content in the moment. Waiting for my co teachers to translate an important meeting for me, or waiting for my little host sisters to get ready for school (quite a lengthy process). And most of all enjoying this year, even though my heart very much longs to be at school studying again. 

• This year is an opportunity to grow in humility. I am not always a good teacher, I make a lot of mistakes, but people are very gracious with me. I am not that great at Korean. I do not always trust God, and I do let fear get the better of me. I am learning that there is so much to learn, and that it is a good thing. 

Autumn in Korea features amazing vibrant colors.

Update: Teaching, Volunteering and Gyeongju

These past few weeks have been filled with new experiences teaching, a weekend trip to Gyeongju and my first time volunteering with the North Korean defector program, where Fulbright ETAs can teach English. Let me dive right in to updating you all on my life:

Mid October I finished my first round of teaching 4th grade, and started teaching 6th grade. The difference between the children is so marked. In just two years they turn from adorable little kids to teenagers who are tired of the system and don't mind telling you and showing you that they don't really care. The first week teaching 6th was a struggle, but I have since adjusted and am really starting to enjoy this grade as well. It is more challenging, because I have to work extra hard at engaging them, and I also have to discipline them more, something I don't like to do, but is necessary.
One of my 6th grade students gets up in the middle of class and starts hitting other students. This is unacceptable, so I had to keep him after class one day, to address this. Another of my students will start tearing out pages of his textbook in the middle of class...

Teaching one of my fourth grade classes 

Mid-October, Fulbright held its annual Fall Conference in Gyeongju, South Korea. All ETAs are required to attend various workshops on teaching, and other aspects of our grant year. The conference was a great reminder that I am here to teach, and offered new ideas and insights into our daily life as ETAs.

On Sunday the 16th, we toured Gyeongju and visited several sites, one of my favorites was Bulguksa Temple, which is a UNESCO World Cultural Heritage site. Two reasons  this temple is so special is 1: Its size, and 2: It survived Japanese vandalism during the colonial period.  

Bulguksa Temple, Gyeongju

 My other favorite site was Daereungwon, where twenty-three ancient tombs of kings and noblemen of the Silla Dynasty can be seen. The tombs look like rounded hobbit hills, much simpler than the Egyptian tombs, but serving the same purpose. In one tomb over 12,000 artifacts including golden crowns, and jewels weapons, pottery and paintings were discovered.

Daereungwon, Gyeongju

Monday, the day of departure, a friend and I went to Wolji pond to spend a few hours journaling and sketching. Wolji pond used to serve as a "vacation" get-a-way for the royalty, and features beautiful buildings and landscape.

Wolji pond, Gyeongju 

 It was easy to imagine big gatherings of noblemen enjoying the finer things of life, while they gazed out across the water.

Wolji pond, Gyeongju

This past Wednesday, a friend and I took the bus to Cheonan, (about an hour away) where we volunteered with a North Korean defector program that offers English lessons to North Korean refugees for free. They are always looking for more teachers, and both of us have decided to commit our Wednesdays to volunteering. This means that immediately after work (4:40pm) we hop on a bus to travel the total 1 hour and a half to the language center. Then we teach one hour, and journey back to Cheongju. This means that we only come back around 10pm. So in other words, on Wednesdays I leave my house at 8:30am, and don't come back until 10pm. It's a long day, but definitely worth it! 

That is all for now! More updates to follow...

Balance

I am sitting at my desk, at the back of the fifth grade classroom. I just finished the first draft of the hand out for a workshop I am leading at the Fulbright Fall Conference. The workshop is about leading a balanced life in Korea. What I mean by this is trying to achieve a healthy balance between work-life and social-life, building new relationships here, but not forgetting old relationships in the States, etc. It is impossible to achieve the perfect balance, but I think it is important to strive for it. Too much focus on one area of your life will cause you to burn out.

I quickly realized this during the first weeks at my placement. Because it is my first time teaching, I spent the evenings at home occupied with planning out my lesson, and even when I was eating dinner with my host family, or watching a movie, thoughts of work would not leave me. Very soon after I started work I realized that I can not take work home with me or I'll go crazy, so now I try to restrict work to the 8 hours that I spend at school.

I experienced the same thing with my host family. In my eagerness to not be a burden, and establish a good relationship with them, I began planning my entire day around their schedule. The kids are very young, so they go to bed around 8pm, and so I also began making sure I would be home and in my room by 8pm, so as not to disturb them. When I was eating dinner out with friends, I would frequently glance at my watch to make sure I would be home at the time I told my host family.

My effort to please my host family is not bad, and I still try to be considerate of the little ones' bed time. However, I have realized I need to strive for a balance. I cannot focus my entire energy on living for other people, which I had in essence been doing up until recently. I need to be considerate of my host family, while also realizing that I am my own person, and it is ok for me to occasionally come home after 8 pm (as long as I communicate my plans with my host parents).

So in conclusion, what I mean by balance, is finding a way to carefully and consciously spend my energy on work, social life with friends, host family and myself in a way that gives equal attention to all aspects of my life. Only with balance, I think, will I avoid burning out in one or all areas.

Student life

It's been over two weeks, and teaching 6 classes of 5th graders, 3 times a week has allowed me a small insight into Korean students' lives.

A few days ago, my co-teacher gave each 5th grade class an exam, to test their knowledge of the unit we finished. Usually students sit in three rows of two students each, but on test day students came into the class room and upon instruction from my co-teacher immediately re-arranged the desks into six single rows of desks. This keeps students from being able to see what their neighbor is writing. What struck me about this was the familiar way in which students went through the action of re-arranging the classroom, taking the test and when finished, placing their hands on their head to indicate their completion. The comfortable way in which student performed all actions indicated to me that they were tried-and-true test takers. Their actions spoke of a weary resignation to dreaded exams. I have not taught in an American 5th grade class, but looking back to my own experiences as a 5th grader, I did not take exams and tests as seriously as they are taken in my Korean school.

Another observation:
Last week I went to the library a few streets from where I live. The library is close to my school as well. As I was walking up the stairs to the English section on the third floor, I passed the glass encased study room. Sitting at the tables were some of my students from 5th grade, diligently bending over their homework. My shock at seeing them working so studiously made me realize that, for me, 5th graders are still children. I don't think of them as serious students, trekking to the library after school to study. I certainly didn't think of myself as a serious student when I was in 5th grade. At that age school was about making friends, learning because it's fun, not more, not less.

The two observations above highlight an aspect of Korean student culture that (I think) differs from our own. In the US, 5th graders are certainly expected to learn much as well, however I think the US takes a more "what happens in school stays in school" approach. What I mean by that: US 5th grade students are expected to participate in school, and do their homework. But serious studying outside of school is not necessary. Instead, teachers and parents encourage students to balance studying with play outside of school. Here, in Korea, I think teachers and parents encourage students to study in school as well as out of school. Even in Elementary school parents pay for their children to go to academies for various subjects to study and learn so they will be ahead of their class. I think this is a big difference to the States.

However, I have also seen that more than anything, Korean 5th graders ARE still kids, and they joke and play as much as American kids do. It is just a different balance.

Working life

Okay, I admit it, I totally underestimated all the work my teachers did over all my years in public school. Teaching is so much more than just standing in front of the class talking about a certain subject. In my case English, and half the class is spent playing a game, in English. Teaching itself is so much fun!! But...then comes the rest of the day, when I am confined to my desk breaking my head over how to make the kids' rather dull textbook lesson interesting for the next day. Lesson planning...it's hard people!! I have been told, and do believe, that it will get easier with time. But for now, I spend 4 hours a day thinking about creative ways to make grammar and vocabulary fun. Only now am I truly beginning to appreciate the tremendous effort my teachers put into teaching me.

School officially started back last Thursday. For the next three weeks I will be teaching 5th grade, then 3 weeks 4th grade, and then 3 weeks 6th grade, and then switch back to 5th, and so on. Teaching itself is so much fun, and relatively stress free. So far the kids respect me, and I have not been confronted with the need for discipline. My work situation is also good. All my co teachers are very friendly, and the other teachers are polite and welcoming as well. Still, I think the knowledge that I am the only foreign teacher in the school, as well as the least experienced one makes me feel a sort of pressure in and of itself. I know that the teachers and principal expect certain standards from me and their watchful gaze makes me anxious. Especially because I do not speak their language and can not actually understand their communicated expectations.

In Korea, once or twice a semester, depending on your school, all teachers including the principal and vice principal go out to dinner together. Last Thursday this happened, and it was great fun! These dinners are largely designed to create a feeling of community and belonging. It is also a chance for co-workers to drink together, something that is accompanied by several cultural traditions. Pouring a drink for someone is considered extremely polite, and the younger should always pour for the elder first. When you pour, you must pour with two hands, and you must be kneeling (everyone is sitting on the ground, as is custom for Korean restaurants). When you receive a drink, it is also with both hands, and when you raise your cup to your mouth (with both hands) you also must turn away from your elder, because it is not polite to drink directly in front of someone. It was so interesting watching this happen at the dinner on Thursday. During the course of the dinner all teachers eventually made their way to the principal to pour him a drink. It all seemed like a well-choreographed dance, as people moved between the low tables, greeting each other, drinking together and then moving on.
As a foreigner people did not expect me to join in the tradition, and so I was left to observe quietly. It was a lot of fun, and my only regret is that I do not understand enough Korean to really know what is going on....maybe next time?

Settling into a New Life

It has been a little over one week in my new city, which I now call home for one year: Cheongju.

Last day at orientation, our orientation leaders are saying goodbye up front, as most of them are heading back to the States.
We owe them a lot for all the training they gave us! 

Last Friday, my wonderful co-teacher picked me up from Goesan after the Fulbright Orientation closing ceremony, and presented me with a beautiful flower bouquet from my school, Jeungan Elementray School, as a welcome present.

My host school welcomed me with a flower bouquet. 

She drove me to Cheongju and introduced me to my host family: host father, mother, and three little girls (3,5,7). The family welcomed me Friday night with a delicious cake and over the next few days showed me around the neighborhood. Our communication skills are limited, as they speak only a little English, and I speak only a little Korean. But with the help of a dictionary, we manage. I think as time goes on, it will get easier to communicate. My host sisters are full of energy and so cute I can't help smiling even when they are behaving naughty. As is part of Korean culture, the youngest always shares her food with me, and the others include me in their games as well. I don't think they understand that I don't understand them. Or maybe they just don't care. They speak Korean with me, and I think I will learn a lot from them.

My wonderful host family presented me with a beautiful cake, which we proceeded to eat with chopsticks!

Elementary school students don't begin the new semester until September, so this past week I have been helping another of my co-teachers teach the English camp. Tuesday welcomed third and fourth graders for one week. We sung Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music and especially the boys participated with gusto! I also taught them a short dance from Zootopia, animals sounds and a Zootopia role-play. I had to practice the dance a lot...we all know how great I am at dancing! ;)
My co-teacher and I usually take our lunch hour at a local restaurant, as she is introducing me to various Korean dishes. I have promised myself to be courageous this year, so yesterday I tried larvae, fish liver and some kind of sea snail. It wasn't terrible, although I do not think I will willingly order any of the above again! Korean food has plenty of other delicious choices to choose from!

One of the three English rooms I will be teaching in. My desk and computer are in this classroom. I will have about 25-30 children per class. Overall, I will be teaching close to 400 students! 

There are over 8 ETAs in Cheongju. I am thankful for their presence and emotional support. During the week I do not see them a lot, although a few live in walking distance from me. However we are all trying to spend as much time with our school and host family as possible, to get used to each other and make the transition easier for all of us.

Last Sunday an ETA friend and I visited Sang Dang Church, which offers an English worship service. It was so good to have fellowship with others in a language that I understand! Both of us felt very welcomed and are planning on attending again!

This update has been a bit longer than most, but more has happened in the past week
than in the past six weeks! A new update to follow next week!
Peace out.

Teaching 101 and a trip to Cheongju

Today's post features a brief summary of my first teaching experiences, as well as a day trip to Cheongju (청주), the city I will be living and teaching in this year.

View of Cheongju from a vantage point in a mall.
My school will be close to this area.

This is the end of the fourth week of orientation, which means I have been here for almost a month, and in only two more weeks I begin teaching at my school in Cheongju.....crazy!!!

These past two weeks I taught my first lesson plan. First I taught a class of 10 students who ranged between 5th and 9th grade. They were such great kids! I started off the lesson singing "If you're happy..." And the students participated loudly. The second lesson plan was co-taught with one of the other awesome ETAs, and we had the kids make moon colonies, to help them start thinking about the future tense.

Teaching both classes was a lot of fun, but it was also a lot of hard work. My respect for teachers has risen exponentially! I also learned that I have several teaching areas that need improving, namely class management and time management, but I think this next year will teach me a lot about teaching, and I will learn naturally to adjust and change my teaching style based on students' needs.

Yesterday a friend and I took a bus to Cheongju; the city I will be teaching in. We spent the day shopping for new "teacher" outfits, and enjoyed the air conditioned stores away from the stifling city heat. Cheongju is a city of about 800,000. My first impression was that it is a bigger city than I imagined. It will take me a while to learn how to navigate the many streets and alleys, but I feel ready to begin my adventure there.

This weekend we also went out for Korean BBQ.
My prediction for this year is that I will spend a lot of money on delicious food...