Why do this?

As my American family gathers in Virginia to celebrate Thanksgiving, I ask myself, "Why do what I am doing?" Why take a year off, knowing full well I want to continue my studies in grad school? Why spend a year away from your family, missing your favorite family holidays like Thanksgiving, and Christmas? Why spend a year teaching children when I know I do not want to teach children in the future?

Turning for the camera! Beautiful fall leaves...

These questions have answers, though the answers are different than they were when I first applied to Fulbright.

 When I applied to Fulbright, as a burned-out senior in college, I thought this year would be my "year off." A fun way to spend a year in between undergrad and grad school. I was wrong. This year is not a year off, because I am working 40 hours a week, trying to navigate a full time job in a culture and language I don't speak. And yes, I am having fun, but I am also working very, very hard.

Here are some of the many reasons why I choose to spend a year away from friends and family:

• This year is a year that is allowing me to grow from a college student into an adult. (Even though college students are technically adults...they also are not. I'm learning that now.)

• This year is teaching me to respect my own teachers in life more (shout out to my Roanoke College professors), as I realize through experience how difficult it is to be a teacher. 

• This year is preparing me for seminary by providing very practical experiences in trusting God and giving me time to evaluate and grow in my relationship with Him. 

• This year is showing me things that I do and do not want in my future. I know now, that I do not want to teach children for my entire life. But I do want to go into teaching. This year (and living with 3 little Korean girls) is also showing me that I want children of my own....one day, definitely not yet. 

We are in the shadows, but I am sitting with two of
 my host sisters underneath the tree.

• This year is teaching me to be patient and content in the moment. Waiting for my co teachers to translate an important meeting for me, or waiting for my little host sisters to get ready for school (quite a lengthy process). And most of all enjoying this year, even though my heart very much longs to be at school studying again. 

• This year is an opportunity to grow in humility. I am not always a good teacher, I make a lot of mistakes, but people are very gracious with me. I am not that great at Korean. I do not always trust God, and I do let fear get the better of me. I am learning that there is so much to learn, and that it is a good thing. 

Autumn in Korea features amazing vibrant colors.