"Where are you from?"

I was walking to the bus station this morning, listening to my brother's music, when his use of French, German, and English, all in one song, reminded me again of our rather unorthodox upbringing, and the impact it has had on us to this day.

Absam, Tirol-where we last lived before moving to France

Of course, everyone's childhood defines who they are as an adult. But for my brothers and me, I wonder if growing up in two different countries with two entirely different passport countries, hasn't left a deeper mark on us, than say if we had been born and raised in one country.

My daily walk home to Absam from Hall, where I went to public school in 9th grade.

My reason for this is: How many people, if they are honest, find the question "Where are you from?" complicated? How many people get heart palpitations and are overcome by a feeling of dread when people ask about your hometown?

View of Innsbruck

For me, this question is confusing, sometimes even painful, and opens an boatload of new questions.
And I wondered this morning, how has this question, "Where are you from?" affected my time in Korea?

We moved to northern France in '09

The thing that stands out in my mind is that people only know half of my story here. This is A) because I don't speak Korean well enough to really communicate. And B) because Korea is a very mono-cultural country, and even when I do explain that:

(Insert rushed tone, as I rattle off the facts in one breath) "I was born in the States, but raised and went to school in Austria, then moved to France for three years in high school, before coming to the States. My mom is German, and I have German and US citizenship, but I have never lived in Germany, and only ever lived in the States for college." 

Many people don't realize here, that that means I have a very tenuous connection to the US, and identify a lot with Europe.

So in Korea, because I teach English, and Fulbright is an American organization, people view me as American first and foremost. And this is where it gets confusing:

Because I AM American, but I am also not.
Just as I AM German, but I am also not.

I am ok with that, and I think the years in college helped me make peace with the fact that I feel American, German, Austrian, and French all at once, and as a result sometimes don't feel like any of that. Still, all those nationalities are true parts of my identity.

Paris is only two hours away from where we live in Northern France, and the Notre Dame is my favorite cathedral.

So when my Korean co-workers and host-family view me only as one (or like Austrians, deny that I am one, because I wasn't born in Austria, to Austrian parents), it feels like they are missing out on what makes me me. But that's ok too. I am ok with people not knowing the whole story, not realizing that I am all my nationalities and none of them at the same time. (And I admit too, the facts are quite confusing).

Christmas market in Germany. We often spent parts of Christmas and the New Year in Germany with my grandma.

But it DOES mean that a lot of my Korean friends, co-workers and host-family don't really, and can't really understand that I am experiencing life in Korea not only as an American, but also as German, Austrian and French. And that is ok too.
And the beautiful thing is, my time in Korea has again confirmed a truth I also learned growing up as a Third Culture Kid: that we are more than where we come from.

Lille-France

Even though Koreans don't usually understand my confusing childhood story, we still find other points to relate and build relationships on. Maybe it's the Korean drama I watched the other day, or shared activities like piano lessons with my host sister. Maybe it's the fact that I love to eat Korean food, and my co-workers love to introduce me to new Korean food. And it definitely is my faith: I am a child of God, and that identity surpasses nationality.

Studying in the States from '12 to '16 helped me make peace with my American identity.

However, the ache in my chest, when people innocently ask me, "Where are you from?" Is witness to the fact that our nationalities also are an unavoidable part of who we are. And when you ask me "Where are you from?" I can't honestly name one single place.

South Korea, where I studied abroad Fall 2013, and now live teaching English.

Sang Dang Sanseong, a 15th century fortress in Cheongju, the city I live and teach in.

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March update: Mom's visit, and more

This past month has been a whirlwind. The new semester started, and I have been teaching 6th grade for the past 4 weeks. 2 more weeks with 6th grade, then 6 weeks teaching 5th grade, and 6 weeks teaching 3rd grade and I am finished. Time seems to both fly by and crawl very slowly. I see this especially in the fickleness of the weather. One day I am outside with nothing but a light sweater, and the next day it is so cold I am wearing a hat and scarf! At this point I am both happy and sad that I have only 3 more months.

Gyeongbukgung palace, Seoul

Last week my mom visited from France. I picked her up Friday the 17th, to spend a weekend in Seoul. The very day we met, I got the worst cold I've had in a long time. Monday through Friday we spent in Cheongju, where I was able to show her my workplace and introduce her to my vice-principal and principal. We also spent some time with my host family, and then returned to Seoul for the second weekend. Sunday the 26th I brought her to the airport and said goodbye until July.
Below are pictures from our time together.

It was special to have my mom visit for several reasons:

The palace gardens

• I have cool parents who will spend money on an expensive ticket just to come see me.

Cheongju

• It was an interesting experience to be around someone again, for an extended period of time, who actually understands what I say. 

Seoul, Korea National Museum

• It made me realize that I have a tendency to retreat into my own world around my co-workers or others who only speak Korean. It's both a blessing and a curse. At work, when we have a long meeting and I don't understand a single word, I can escape into my mind, and plan the to-do list for the week, or think about a book I've recently read and would like to write a paper on in grad-school. But at the same time it keeps me from actively engaging with the world around me....

The museum

• I realized that I will definitely have culture shock going back to Germany in the summer...it will be very, very strange to understand everyone around me, and I think it will be almost as tiring as NOT understanding anyone around me.

The museum

• I forgot what it feels like to be around family. After almost 8 months with my host family, I consider them to be the closest thing to family that I have in Korea. However, that doesn't replace the comfortable feeling of familiarity you get with your own family. :)

Saying goodbye at Incheon

Spring Break Snapshots

Korean Elementary Schools get one week off between semesters, for their equivalent of spring break. So this past week one of my best friends  (who is currently living in Japan) came to Korea to visit. Together we visited Seoul and Busan, the two major cities in the country. Below are various pictures from our trip! Enjoy!

We started our adventures in Seoul, where we met some other friends from the states and explored the city. 

After Seoul we took a 5 hour bus trip to the bottom of the peninsula, to Busan, the other major city of Korea. This is Gamcheon Cultural Village. Originally a refugee settlement, during the Korean war, it is now a popular destination for Koreans and tourists alike. We stayed in Busan with another friend from Roanoke College, who is also currently working in South Korea. What a small world! 

On our way to meet our friend we stopped for delicious strawberries! I must say, Korean fruit is some of the sweetest, most delicious I have ever had! 

Our second day in Busan was spent exploring Haedong Temple, built in 1376 during the Goryeo Dynasty.

This dragon statue, soaring on a cloud, fascinated me! 

The temple is situated immediately on the coast, and looks out over the ocean. Gorgeous! 

The last stop of our trip took us back to Cheongju, my city, where our host family showed us around town. 

Sang Dang Fortress, built during the Joseon dynasty overlooks the mountains and city of Cheongju. 

We hiked for an hour with my host family, after which we ate delicious food and celebrated Elsa's last day in Korea. The sunset was beautiful.

 In short, spring break was a lovely respite from my regular routine. The new semester starts tomorrow, and except for two or three holidays, I will not have a break from teaching until my contract ends in July. This break has been restful and refreshing and it was wonderful to explore Korea with my friend. I am truly thankful for friendships that span countries and years! 

February Limbo

In Korean schools February is an odd month, because technically kids and teachers go to school, to finish the semester, which ends the last week of February. However, most of the kids already finished their textbooks, so we teachers don't have anything to teach.

My school requires me to come in to work every day, but I don't actually have any kids to teach, since we finished the English textbook in December. This is very odd to me, and I offered to teach some supplemental lessons, but the school refused. Instead my co-teachers are watching movies with the students. I am honestly a little confused and frustrated with a system that doesn't make the most out of the presence of a native speaker. Moreover, if they really don't need me....can I go home? I'd love to travel some more within Korea, but since I need to show up to work every day (even though I literally just sit at my desk reading for 8 hours), I am stuck in Cheongju until the last week of February.

Regardless of my frustrations with the school system, I am enjoying my months in Korea, as they quickly fly by. I am happy to report that every month living with my host family is easier and more enjoyable, as we learn about each other, and grow in language skills. My host sisters are a handful, but they make me laugh, and I am very grateful for that!

Yesterday, I accompanied my host family to a local concert hall, where the two youngest girls (aged 4 and 6) were performing in their kindergarten talent show. I don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't the elaborate, 3 hour-long program I saw. While I was impressed with the amount of work the kids put into their performances, and the professionalism with which the teachers, TV crew and moderator conducted those 3 hours, I couldn't help thinking if the emphasis on perfection took the joy out of it for the children.

My host sisters' kindergarten talent show. This was the stage. The audience was packed with parents and grandparents. The second from the left is my youngest host sister, who is 4.
 

Olafur Eliasson's exhibition at the Leeum Samsung Museum of Modern Art

 The beginning of February I spent two days in Seoul on a solo-trip. I wanted to get away and be on my own, so I spent two days visiting museums and city sights. Below are some pictures.

My favorite installation in the exhibit was this curtain of water and light.

Visiting the Iwha Mural Village in Seoul, the houses in this area are all painted with beautiful murals 

Winter English Camp 2017

Two weeks of English camp are over now.
I taught 2nd and 3rd grade, two hours each, for one week, and then 4th and 5th grade, two hours each, for one week.

It has been a really nice experience, because unlike the regular school year, I did not teach from a textbook but was able to come up with my own games and activities. I enjoyed that a lot. I also enjoyed having smaller classes and getting to know my students on a more personal level.

Last day of camp we had a food party where the kids were allowed to make snacks for themselves

Highlights from English Camp:

Duck Duck Goose, very popular with 2nd and 3rd

• Being physically pushed, pulled and urged by a second grader to join in the game of Duck, Duck, Goose. It felt nice to be wanted.
• Receiving a handwritten note thanking my co-teacher and me for our work. 
• Introducing 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th grade to a game my German family plays. (I translated it into English of course).
• Learning the Pitch Perfect cups song with 4th and 5th grade, and seeing the kids practice the song during break time. (meaning they actually enjoyed the activity enough to continue past class hours)



2nd grade boys. They were so sweet...why do they have to grow up? 

• Being told by two 4th graders (지은 and 회진) that I was the reason they signed up for English camp in the first place.

One of the 2nd grade girls wrote a note to my co teacher and me, thanking us for the camp.

The two boys with the scarfs are twins, and my co teacher and I only found out the last day!

2nd grade girls

3rd grade boys

The boy kept sneaking into all the pictures.

Happy New Year from Japan

This year I got to spend New Year's Eve with one of my best and oldest friends. I am visiting her in Japan, where she is currently working, and spent New Year's Eve with her and her friends. After an evening of Japanese New Year's TV, we went to bed for a few hours before waking up at 3 am to hike Mount Takao, from which we watched the first sunrise of the year, and then crossed to the other side of the mountain, from which Mount Fuji is visible.

The first sunrise of 2017, as seen in the Land of the Rising Sun

Currently, I am sitting in Starbucks in Tokyo, filling out graduate school scholarship applications, sketching, journaling and reflecting. I will be here until Sunday, when I return to Korea to start teaching my English winter camp. I am so thankful for this break and rest. Looking back on my time in Korea so far, I know I have only survived with my sanity in tact because of prayer and support from friends and family. It is not easy living and teaching in Korea. But it is fun, and it is rewarding and I wouldn't change a thing.

Some difficult things this past year:

• Language barriers. I notice this most, because it keeps me from truly being able to connect with people on a deep level. I love intellectual conversation, talking about books I'm reading, things I'm learning about God and other sometimes serious matters. I can't do this in Korean. And I miss it. 
• Cultural differences like directness. You can't just say what you are thinking in Korea. I notice this especially at work, where I often have to bite my tongue from pointing out the inefficiency of the system. 
• Being away from friends and family.

Some wonderful things this past year:

• Realizing that it is possible to connect with people with out language. I notice this with my host family who truly do care about me, and connect with me, even without speaking each other's language. 
• Learning to love Korean culture. I love the value Koreans place on aesthetics in art, music and daily life. I love the food. I love the patience people show me when I try my Korean. I love the Noraebang culture (karaoke). 
• Learning about God and myself. This year has been preparing me for graduate school in big ways. I'm learning that I need to grow in humility where my faith is concerned.
• I am learning that there are things I love about American and European culture.

Boarding the cable car to go half way up Takao-san (4am)

 

The temple on top of Takao-san

My friend, Elsa, and me in front of Fuji-san 

Tying our fortunes at the temple (Japanese tradition)

View of Tokyo (the famous skyline is visible, very small, in the distance)

Acupuncture and Noraebang

These two things are by no means related, but when I think back on the past month, acupuncture and Noraebang stand out in my mind as the most noteworthy.

First, my hand injury (I fell up some stairs in November) is still bothering me, so my host-mom recommended acupuncture, and I have had two treatments so far. Not sure if it has helped yet, but the experience in itself has definitely been worth it:

The first time I went to the oriental clinic, I thought I had misunderstood my host-mom, she didn't really mean this tiny little place, with old-fashioned wooden floors, and the smell of ginseng in the air? I was expecting a doctor's office with the clean smell of disinfectants....the nurse ushered me into the oriental doctor's office, and a tall man with salt and pepper hair shook my hand. He was dressed in traditional Korean clothes, and preceded to ask me about my injury. Best I could, and with the help of some translated text (thanks to my friends) I explained to the doctor what had happened.

The nurse then took me from the doctor's office to a large room with sectioned off beds. I took off my right sock (my hand injury is on the left), laid down on the bed, and the doctor entered to put two needles in my right hand, and two in my right foot. He then said I should open and close my left hand (the actual injured hand) for a half and hour. After said 30 min, the nurse removed the needles and I went home. The next treatment was similar.

It was amazing to see the needles in my hand and foot, but not feel them at all. Overall, the experience was simply fascinating, and it remains to see if my left hand will improve with time.

This month has also been characterized by Noraebang, because a few weeks ago my host family's extended family came to our house for a party. We went out for Korean BBQ, and after dinner my host mom asked me if we should have a beer. I readily agreed (though I really don't like to drink much, I don't mind, and in this case I wanted to spend more time getting to know my host family's family). So my host mom, her sisters and I went to drink a beer, while the men of the family remained at the BBQ place. After a while my host-mom decided we should go sing songs in the Noraebang. I had told them that I enjoyed it, and I think they wanted to do something they could include me in. After a few songs we were soon joined by my host dad, the uncles and grandfather. (The kids were with a babysitter at home.) They all proceeded to sing various songs loudly (and quite well). The grandfather belted Korean oldies, while swaying to the tune, motioning for me to join in.

This experience stands out to me because it was the first time I think my host parents realized that they are allowed to have fun around me too. Even though the language barrier still exists, the experience showed both of us that it is possible to have fun and get to know one another more without speaking each other's language fluently. Ever since our Noraebang experience, I have felt like my host-parents are just a little more relaxed around me, and my host-dad attempts to tell me jokes in Korean more frequently (I still don't understand most of them, I just smile) and this in and of itself feels like a Christmas gift.