"Where are you from?"

I was walking to the bus station this morning, listening to my brother's music, when his use of French, German, and English, all in one song, reminded me again of our rather unorthodox upbringing, and the impact it has had on us to this day.

Absam, Tirol-where we last lived before moving to France

Of course, everyone's childhood defines who they are as an adult. But for my brothers and me, I wonder if growing up in two different countries with two entirely different passport countries, hasn't left a deeper mark on us, than say if we had been born and raised in one country.

My daily walk home to Absam from Hall, where I went to public school in 9th grade.

My reason for this is: How many people, if they are honest, find the question "Where are you from?" complicated? How many people get heart palpitations and are overcome by a feeling of dread when people ask about your hometown?

View of Innsbruck

For me, this question is confusing, sometimes even painful, and opens an boatload of new questions.
And I wondered this morning, how has this question, "Where are you from?" affected my time in Korea?

We moved to northern France in '09

The thing that stands out in my mind is that people only know half of my story here. This is A) because I don't speak Korean well enough to really communicate. And B) because Korea is a very mono-cultural country, and even when I do explain that:

(Insert rushed tone, as I rattle off the facts in one breath) "I was born in the States, but raised and went to school in Austria, then moved to France for three years in high school, before coming to the States. My mom is German, and I have German and US citizenship, but I have never lived in Germany, and only ever lived in the States for college." 

Many people don't realize here, that that means I have a very tenuous connection to the US, and identify a lot with Europe.

So in Korea, because I teach English, and Fulbright is an American organization, people view me as American first and foremost. And this is where it gets confusing:

Because I AM American, but I am also not.
Just as I AM German, but I am also not.

I am ok with that, and I think the years in college helped me make peace with the fact that I feel American, German, Austrian, and French all at once, and as a result sometimes don't feel like any of that. Still, all those nationalities are true parts of my identity.

Paris is only two hours away from where we live in Northern France, and the Notre Dame is my favorite cathedral.

So when my Korean co-workers and host-family view me only as one (or like Austrians, deny that I am one, because I wasn't born in Austria, to Austrian parents), it feels like they are missing out on what makes me me. But that's ok too. I am ok with people not knowing the whole story, not realizing that I am all my nationalities and none of them at the same time. (And I admit too, the facts are quite confusing).

Christmas market in Germany. We often spent parts of Christmas and the New Year in Germany with my grandma.

But it DOES mean that a lot of my Korean friends, co-workers and host-family don't really, and can't really understand that I am experiencing life in Korea not only as an American, but also as German, Austrian and French. And that is ok too.
And the beautiful thing is, my time in Korea has again confirmed a truth I also learned growing up as a Third Culture Kid: that we are more than where we come from.

Lille-France

Even though Koreans don't usually understand my confusing childhood story, we still find other points to relate and build relationships on. Maybe it's the Korean drama I watched the other day, or shared activities like piano lessons with my host sister. Maybe it's the fact that I love to eat Korean food, and my co-workers love to introduce me to new Korean food. And it definitely is my faith: I am a child of God, and that identity surpasses nationality.

Studying in the States from '12 to '16 helped me make peace with my American identity.

However, the ache in my chest, when people innocently ask me, "Where are you from?" Is witness to the fact that our nationalities also are an unavoidable part of who we are. And when you ask me "Where are you from?" I can't honestly name one single place.

South Korea, where I studied abroad Fall 2013, and now live teaching English.

Sang Dang Sanseong, a 15th century fortress in Cheongju, the city I live and teach in.

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